La Vita È Bella

Dance like a Pro

2007-11-28T19:22:00.001-08:00

So you think you can dance???lol

CHARLESTON
feat. pro dancers Tina Lee and Ed Obrar ;)

Webdate The Musical

2007-11-28T04:29:00.001-08:00

Today will be terrific!!! :)

2007-11-15T22:29:00.000-08:00

One word that best describes how I feel right now would be EXCITED!!! Well actually I am waaaayyy above just being excited, which makes me DELIRIOUSLY ECSTATIC right?!! Though somehow you might just agree with me that being "deliriously ecstatic" doesn't sound quite nice or rather "sanefully" correct; practically makes me sound deranged. hehehe Anyway, no worries, no worries. It's all good vibes. (Just to clear things, I'm not on anything ok ;) ) Not that I'm a fortune teller or anything but I think... wait let me rephrase that,
I FEEL, I KNOW, I AM POSITIVELY SURE that today will be terrific!!! :D
Why oh why?? Hmm... I see it in the stars!

Scorpio
"…this evening is a wonderful time to enjoy your loved ones --
you will enjoy some very funny stories."

My horoscope says so! Kidding! =P (I'm not superstitious)
Well for...

1.Might be because someone's coming back home today. As to who it is, it'll be my big secret. =P
2. Hmmm I kinda feel butterflies in my stomach. * I think... hahaha (wait, you can put that in no.1 hehe)
3. I'm excited to see someone hours from now and I just can't wait, which by the way isn't the one arriving; they're 2 different people. For some reason, I'm totally feeling giddy about everything and I practically can't hide my smile. ;) Now I think you have to knock me off. =| hehehe
4. Well I've sort of been like this for a couple of days, the feeling just kinda heightened I think. hahaha

Now that's a lot of hahaha's and smileys, sorry.=|

Moving on, I know this intense euphoria isn't sugar rush or some substance-induced mood and definitely not a fixation for something. Knowing that today will be terrific, and the following days will be too... is more than just a state of mind or a belief. For some reason I know it's beyond that. :)

Hmmm... just a curious thought though, I wonder what my horoscope meant by "loved ones." hehehe

Oh by the way, I added new links here on my blog. Try to check out getzmo.com and cannedthoughts.net

happy 23rd!!!! :)

2007-10-29T19:30:00.000-07:00

To those who called me up, sent messages thru text, friendster, myspace, multiply, ym, facebook, etc. etc... (made a count on it.hehe) THANK YOU SO MUCH guys for all the warm wishes and birthday greetings. I'm completely overwhelmed that surprisingly a lot of you remembered. :)

To my officemates, tina, par, steven, peter, benny, paeng, raffy... thanks so much for the birthday surprise. I was completely shocked and speechless.haha

For all the surprises, lovely gifts and cakes... Thank you soooo much guys!!! I love every single bit of it! ;)

To my mom and dad... woah!!!! I can't be more thankful to have you both! Thanks for everything! Dad, muchas gracias por hacer mi dia! estoy agradecida por el regalo! :) maraming salamat sa pag gastos. :D Being the only girl in the family has its advantages talaga. hehehe Mommy, thanks for the surprise and the gift. :D (at may line na ako ulit! waaah!!) I'm sure that the both of you are happy that it's just a birthday and not something else. *cough*cough (wedding) lol

To those who came last Saturday, Thank you so much!!! wooohooo! It was yet again another blast!!!! Lots of thanks for making it possible. :D To those who weren't able to come, well I hope to see you all next time ok. ;)

*more pictures on my multiply account ;)

This year has been the best year of my life, thank you all for being a part of it; for sticking around through all the good and rough times. :) I can't be more grateful to God for all these wonderful blessings and for each and every one of you. Looking forward to have more wonderful and fun filled years ahead. :) Have a great week people!!! ;)

2007-10-17T02:13:00.000-07:00

Uncertainty is there for some reason...

The Little Prince: A Beneficiary Concert for Mr. Abodiles

2007-10-05T01:26:00.000-07:00

Join us as we rally this campaign through a beneficiary concert for our Little Prince featuring Up Dharma Down, Silent Sanctuary, Kastigo, April Morning Skies, Angulo, Pope and many more.

Remember the first day of your CSA Sophomore or Senior English Class, he gracefully recited Pedagogic: "I walked towards the falling words to teach the trees all that I could. Of time and birth, the language of men, the virtues of hate and loving…" During the second quarter, he laid the boombox on the teacher's table, and played "The Sound of Silence," as everyone sung with Simon and Garfunkel. Toward the end of the school year, this Little Prince tamed each one of us like a rose and taught us to return "what is essential, that is invisible to the eye."

Mr. Edgar Abodiles is a living testament of the numerous teachers who have dedicated their lives to our education. He did not only make sure that we passed his subject. He also made sure that we read in between the lines -- find life and meaning in words and phrases. Unfortunately, two weeks ago, he was afflicted with chronic kidney disease and is in need of immediate life-saving assistance.

Check out the link below for the news on Mr. Abodiles. Bank account details are specified in the site for those who are willing to wire money to support this campaign. Every peso can do miracles: http://www.colegiosanagustin.edu.ph/cgi-bin/news/display.asp?newsid=140

Time is of the essence. To all Augustinians, and even those who are just simply willing to help, even if you know Mr. Abodiles or not, let this be a testament of your gratitude to the teachers who had dedicated their lives to our education. High school to most, is the best 4 years of our lives, let us give back by helping this remarkable man through this difficult journey.

Let us all give our Little Prince a fighting chance.

For more details, please contact
COLEGIO SAN AGUSTIN at 843-9998
P200.00
OCTOBER 5, 2007 - 5:00PM

http://www.clickthecity.com/event/detail.asp?evid=18987

Think happy thoughts!

2007-10-03T00:51:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling really bad lately and for some reason I can't even seem to figure out why...

Is it just because of the weather?? (How it suddenly makes you feel all gloomy.)
My 3wk. old cold?? *sniff sniff (eeeew!! i hate it!)
Someone too annoying enough ruined my day. =|
Birthday jitters (which for some reason I also can't explain... am i not supposed to be excited?!)

Plus the fact that I've been looking pale too seriously bothers me. My blush-on doesn't really seem to be working on me lately.huhu Now I'm all pale and gloomy. =S (VANITY!) Might be it or ALL OF THE ABOVE. I guess It's just "one of those days," yadda yadda yadda... and I'm trying to beat my own confusing mood. How weird! =| So yeah here's a lil something to keep me more positive, cheery perhaps. Just a couple of things that make me feel good and happy about... a breath of fresh air. :D

1. Shopping galore! - ultimate stress reliever,wouldn't even get tired of it!
2. A bottle of Alizé or Absolut.- which could really help right now. hahaha
3. Sleep Sleep Sleep - A LOT of it! exactly what I need and yeah a good dream could really fix it too.hehe
4. Banana walnut pancakes - spells YUMMY all over.
5. A really really good movie... haven't seen a good one for ages!
6. Knowing that someone has been an angel for me. - hmmm... now that'll make me smile. :)
7. A mocha frappuccino & a cinnamon roll - I think you know where to get it. ;D
8. Iphone - my wish list! huppie huppie birthday to me!! :D

9. New York style pizza! - wow!! pig-out!!
10. Acting for Theater and Playing Soccer!
11. Chillin by the beach while watching the sunset. Trully relaxing...
12. Seeing a rainbow after the rain. :)
13. A strawberry sherbet while watching tv
14. Listening to my happy songs, "nothing in this world" and "turn it up." =| - You wouldn't even believe who sang it. I like the remix' though.
15. A pair of Jimmy Choos!!!!! - oohh i love it! now i'm getting materialistic.haha
16. Watching 50 First Dates! :D love song by 311

17. Planning for an event, a birthday or whatever gets me all hyped up! I love surprises!
18. Seeing a dozen of pink and orange balloons makes me all cheery ;)
19. A box of gonuts or krispy kreme while watching heroes. yumyum
20. Receiving a large bouquet of tulips or roses - sweeeet!! (not reminiscing!) :P
21. A Double cheeseburger meal, large fries and an oreo sundae. - Ring a bell?? lol
22. Hours over the phone talking to my besties, means hours of nonstop laughter.
23. Ballpen race along our school's hallway,in uniform. Super laughtrip! :D
24. Sleepovers at vero's place!!!! food trip! car chase! ;D hehe
25. Popcorns and dvd marathons!
26. Put your records on and Trouble Sleeping by Corrine Bailey Rae... I think you'd know why ;)
27. Singing my heart out on a videoke night with my buddies!!!

28. A crazy night-out with close friends. Talking, dancing the night away and drinking til we drop. Ponti days will never the less still make me smile. (veteran! since H.S.lol)
29. Block reunion! I miss all my luvies! Seeing everyone happy makes me really happy. :D
30. Goofing around/major camwhoring! - It's a disease! everyone's infected! lol

Realizing as I list these things down, I don't see why I should actually feel bothered about something unexplained, when I have more than dozens and endless things to be happy about. Whether it be a kiss, a hug, a small token or just a smile for as long as it comes from someone I care for, I would most definitely feel happy and grateful for it. Much looove :D

Now can you see me smiling....

*bleh!

I've been tagged!

2007-09-26T00:37:00.000-07:00

I don't want to be the one who spoiled the whole tag game... so might as well join in, besides I haven't written anything for weeks now. Actually, I've been really lazy to do anything. =P hehe So here it goes... I'm tagging Edce, Rhae, Rene, Paeng, Enna, and Kitchie. But before anything else here are the rules.

"Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things about them. People who got tagged need to write a list of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog. "

6 WEIRD things about me...

1. I HATE INSECTS! all types, kinds or whatever you may call it. I hate it when it goes anywhere near me. I scream, jump around, and even cry at the sight of it. hehehe I'm not kidding about the crying thing coz I really do. It happened several times already... I'm such a baby! lol =P

2. I can finish a whole loaf of bread... any type of bread, for as long as it belongs to the "bread family." lol I'm not a rice person; I started eating rice just about a year ago, as advised by my doctor. I can't live without taking in bread in a day.

I remember talking to my mom over the phone one time,
crying because I couldn't find any bread in the
house and it was nearly 2am everyone was asleep....
I was throwing tantrums. My whole body was literally
shaking coz I didn't get to eat bread the whole day.
(I was trying to see if I could actually live without it.hahaha crazy!)
So yeah, we have a huge stock of bread at home. =P

3. A FISH is a FISH... they all look the same to me. hehe I'm not really familiar with the whole name the type of fish thing. I can't name all of the fishies you know...not even one! LOL well, just nemo!

4. I get really paranoid when someone's hair gets near mine... afraid that I might get something. =S I even have nightmares about it. "IT" was just staring at me! weird noh??! hehe

5. I'm really afraid of needles. A prick in the finger can make me cry.

Back in college the nurse even had to grab my finger
since I was refusing to have it pricked for the blood test.
(it was like playing "saw saw suka!"hahaha)
same goes with my fingers having paper cuts...
I get all "drama." Hurts big time for me.

6. I can be really "O.C."/ Obsessive Compulsive.

All my clothes are arranged according to color.
I have a lane for each. They're not just arranged according to color,
they're arranged according to their shade as well.LOL
The darker shades go under and the lighter ones go on top. =|
The hanged ones are arranged too! LOL

Yes... I'm weird! =P hahaha

Miss Jamaica

2007-09-11T22:23:00.000-07:00

A hilarious sketch from After Hours. I love Miss Jamaica!!! nice work mr. translator! LOL This surely made my day! Listen closely then maybe you'll figure it out. =P

* "Miss Jamaica's" answer, got this from a comment in youtube

Let mi tell yu firs ting right...
Dis dis contess a one idiat biznis dis yu nuwa.
Dem a surroun mi wid a buncha magga magga white gal
who na eat nutin but rahtid salad.
And mi caan fin ox tail han no rice han peas no pleyace
And mi tyad a dis idiat bludclaat white bway a ax me
Dis idiat bludclaat white bway a ax me mi biznis yu nuwa
Yu mus tell im fi guweh!
Bumbuclaat!

2007-09-11T02:36:00.000-07:00

Let my mistakes
keep me humbled,
Let my past
keep me focused,
Let my achievements
keep me on ground,
and let my pain
teach me.
So that amidst the battle within,
I may be strengthened
not to feed anger and hate.

Cheers to Singlehood!

2007-09-05T23:19:00.000-07:00

A friend sent me this... and I can't agree more. :) I don't see why other people see being single as something "unlucky." Being single ain't bad at all, and it surely doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. Single or not it doesn't change a thing about who you are and who you can be. ;)

BECAUSE

Just because no one has been fortunate
enough to realize what a gold mine you are,
doesn't mean you shine any less.

Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out
that you can't be topped,
doesn't stop you from being the best.
* uhuh uhuh...

Just because no one has come along to share your life,
doesn't mean that day isn't coming.
* the best is yet to come...

Just because no one has made this race worth while,
doesn't give you permission to stop running.

Just because no one has realized how much of a woman you are,
doesn't mean they can affect your femininity.
* i definitely agree on this... 100%

Just because no one has come to take the loneliness away,
doesn't mean you have to settle for a lower quality.
* hear that?!! don't settle for a lower quality. tsk tsk tsk... lol

Just because no one has shown up
who can love you on your level,
doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.
* makes me nod my head...

Just because you deserve the very best there is,
doesn't mean that life is always fair.

Just because God is still preparing your king,
doesn't mean that you're not already a queen.

Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right
now, doesn't mean you need to change a thing.

Keep shining,
Keep running,
Keep hoping,
Keep praying,

Keep being exactly what you are already
COMPLETE!
- TD Jakes

Happy happy joy joy

2007-09-03T20:15:00.000-07:00

Classic!! The crazy Ren and Stimpy "happy happy joy joy" song that my lil brother used to sing and dance with! absolutamente delirante! LOL

Warning: Bad vibes stay off! or else... =P

Good vibes :)

2007-09-03T19:39:00.000-07:00

"I may not be able to change the world I see around me,
but I can change the way I see the world within me."

Imma start my day with a BIG SMILE
and leave all of my worries behind. :D

I congratulate thee...

2007-08-31T00:18:00.000-07:00

To the winners of the prestigious and very 1st Kablag Awards...
I congratulate you all! You guys are truly deserving of it.

To my good good friend... (strong emphasis on the word good.hehe) TINA LEE, I am very much proud of you for bagging the buffering blog award! I knew you could do it! go tina, go tina, go tina!!! woohooo!!!

To the ever fab birthday girl NINA, gorilla fella JEO, LUIWUI and to the rest of my friends who won/got nominated... you guys are the best!!! I superbly enjoyed all your stories, tips, recipes, discoveries/theories, jokes, funny conversations and all your shared daily/weekly experiences. They were truly enlightening. Once again, I thank and congratulate you all.

To the rest of the nominees... still a great work guys! Keep on striving! I personally am proud to be a part of it. (discreet blog award ko next time ah! wehehe) To the founder/s of this so called event... we all are proud to be considered and recognized. Our deepest appreciation.

til next time! ;) HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

* CLICK HERE ... for more details

Happy Birthday Nina!!!

2007-08-30T23:25:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 27TH BIRTHDAY
NINA VILLACRUSIS!!!

Wishing you all the best and more wonderful years ahead!!! :)

* The Birthday Girl
* Collage courtesy of Ayan Tolentino

I heart you

2007-08-28T22:05:00.000-07:00

When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn't really matter who won or who lost. What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go! You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if their happiness means that you're not part of it. Everything happens for the best. If the person you love doesn't love you back, don't be afraid to love someone else again, for you'll never know unless you give it a try. You'll never love a person you love unless you risk for love. Love strives in hurting. If you don't get hurt, you don't learn how to love. Love doesn't hurt all the time. Though the hurting is still there to test you, to help you grow. Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love because you don't force yourself to fall. You just fall.

You cannot finish a book without closing its chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages. Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing. The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go.

We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves. On falling out of love, take some time to heal and then get back on the horse. But don't ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time.

To love is to risk rejection, to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing! To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true self; to love is to risk not to be loved in return.

How to define love? Fall but do not stumble, be constant but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, hurt but never keep the pain. Love is like a knife. It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime. Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength. But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end. Loving people means giving them the freedom who they choose to be and where they choose to be. For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy days and fruitless years, you should give thanks, for you know that these were the things that helped you grow.

Loving someone means giving him the freedom to find his way, whether it leads towards you or away from you. Love is a painful risk to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then you'll experience the fullness of humanity and that is love. Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire and tear you apart. Only love can make you cry and only love knows why. If you're not ready to cry, if you're not ready to take the risk, if you're not ready to feel the pain, then you're not ready to fall in love. There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love 'coz every time we do, we get hurt, then I figured that's why it's called FALLING IN LOVE...

When you decide to love, allow it to grow. When you promise to love, refuse to let it die.

Got me thinking...

2007-08-28T19:30:00.000-07:00

"Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have.
Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck
your life. But as tough as wanting something can be.
The people who suffer the most,
are those who don't know what they want."
- Grey's Anatomy

When boredom hits...

2007-08-23T01:14:00.000-07:00

Hmmm… what to do, what to do?? Well aside from checking the usual sites like Friendster, Myspace, Multiply and Youtube. Here are a couple of sites you could actually try to visit when boredom “sorta kinda” strikes you at work or wherever you maybe that is.

* oh and yeah some of which can actually be embedded on your site or downloaded on your PC 100% free of service. Check those lil widgets on the side see see… (look on the right side! hehe) Lovely isn’t it?!

It’s all about music, videos and photos…

Share your favorite mp3, video, photo and playlist to your friends, and blog about everything under the sun. Try to check out Imeem.com. Ask me? It’s actually one of the sites I regularly visit. ;) *check the player posted on my past blog.

Stickam.com;It’s the “cutesy lil ipod looking” widget on the side of my site. See it? Totally love it!

Want a bigger storage for your files? Badongo.com; it’s a free file hosting site that lets you upload your mp3’ s, photos, and videos.

For extremely picture lovin people / camwhores...

*Vanity is my favorite sin! LOL

Create lovely and cool slides with your pictures, check out Slide.com

Wanna be more creative? Rockyou.com; Create corkboards, glitter texts, your own voicemail, slideshows, horoscopes, shoutouts and have your own countdowns.

Here’s a newbie! Blingee.com. Allows you to change your picture's background, add more texts, glitters, put frames and stamps.

Want yourself animated?

Animate yourself! Here’s me!!! Meez.com; change your skin tone, hairstyle, try on different outfits... from costumes, uniforms, to exactly the same casual look you’re sporting at the moment. Go accessorize!

Upload your picture and be just like the Simpsons. Check out how you'd look like "simpsonized." Google on Simpsonizeme.com

So far... this is it! I'll leave you guys with these for now. I'll try to keep you updated if ever I get to find more cool stuff on the net. ;)

Here's a teensy weensy reminder though...

I’m sure that you’re pretty much excited to try everything and you’d want your lil site all colored and “widgetized” but embedding everything, meaning putting all these cute widgets on your site might cause your lovely computer to SLOW DOWN. Most of these widgets are converted to FLASH and since ALL APPEAR AT THE SAME TIME, some of which even play automatically... expect that it's gonna take longer for you to open your site.

And yeah... too much of color isn’t that soothing to the EYE... =P

Tata!

On Soul mates...

2007-08-13T18:53:00.000-07:00

I was going through my old things the other day and somehow I got a hold of some of the essays I had written a couple of years back... some of which I still remember writing about, but of course time has added and altered a little of the said ideas; Maturity took place, I suppose. :) Here's an essay I wrote for Practical Criticism on the concept of soul mates.

Several movies romantic in themes such as Serendipity or What dreams may come, talk about the concept of soul mates. Each speak about the idea of true love and destiny; two individuals destined for each other, feeling strong intimacy and compatibility.

Growing up in a society exposed to such concepts of love. I believe I too have grown or taken in the idea as well. So clearly I say yes, I do believe in the concept of Soul mates, and I guess most of us do. Several studies, some mythological in nature have been brought about to further explain the concept of soul mates and unto how it came about. Such as the classical Greek mythology that originally humans were combined; man and woman in one form - condemned they were split into half. Moreover, some spiritual and religious communities have explained the idea in relation to reincarnation and karma - two souls living lifetimes together. But despite of these studies trying to prove the primal existence on what a soul mate is or how it came about. Personally speaking for me one thing is for sure, There is no single definition on to what a soul mate really is. A soul mate is not just someone whom you feel strongly for, not just someone who makes your knees go weak, who takes your breath away or who makes your heart thump. It is someone whom you feel totally connected to. It may be someone who can move you, touch you or change you. It doesn't just qualify or revolve around having found the love of your life or your "special someone." It is about finding someone whom you connect with... someone who your soul (in particular) connects with. It is not just about love but about deep friendship on fire, as someone once told me. It is not necessarily sexual or romantic, not just about intimacy or strong emotions but also about companionship and deep admiration, and definitely it is not about having or looking for the perfect relationship or perfect partner because there isn't such a thing in this world. I believe that we all were created and ordained for someone, just as the saying goes "No man is an island," no one was created to live alone because ideally man was built for relationships.

Now about looking for that soul mate, individually that person may not be perfect but when combined, ideally fit for each other; a perfect match, just like a puzzle and it's missing piece. That “someone” gives us the feeling of completeness, contentment and out bursting happiness; the feeling of wholeness. At the moment our soul mate can be anyone, it can be our neighbor next door, an old friend, a new acquaintance, someone we haven't met yet, someone we'll bump into minutes from now or someone we've known for the rest of our lives. Who that person is? Only time can reveal. And I guess the best advice to give would be not just to invest by searching for that soul mate of ours but to invest as well in the self... to be that perfect partner / soul mate for that person. And if you're worried about being left single and all, keep in mind that God is busy carefully writing a perfect love story for you. :)

Whisper

2007-07-26T01:55:00.000-07:00

love it! one of my favorite songs ever... just sharing ;)

WHISPER

by Slovo

I think I should go now
I must leave before my red eyes match the sunrise
No more coffee will put off today

I've stood too long
In the shadow of a doubt
I need some sun
It seems that time returns to me once more
But I have less now than before

And when I feel my world falling down
I think of you
I think of you

And when I feel I can breath no more
you speak to me
you speak to me

When the brightest star
Smiled as it squared shoulders with the night
You lit the glowing embers of my own light

Do you know
Your words could drag the moon down from the sky
Seduce my frozen heart with your war cry
You really made me listen for my voice
And I heard millions

And when I feel my world falling down
I think of you
I think of you

And when I feel I can breath no more
you speak to me
you speak to me

When you fell
I saw your visionary thoughts befriend your blood
Crimson lovers drowning in the same flood
I miss the beauty of your young black skin

I thought that freedom
Can only be defined as endless choice
And I only listened to the logic of the loudest voice

But this world
Will be shaken by a whisper

But this world
Will be shaken by a whisper

And I will live with integrity
And peace inside
And peace inside

And I will live with all honesty
And peace inside
And peace inside

By a whisper...

Standing up with grace

2007-07-25T22:02:00.000-07:00

Do not look back or grieve over the past for it is gone,

and do not be troubled about the future for it has yet to come.
Live in the present and make it so beautiful
that it will be worth remembering.
-IDA Scott Taylor

Spent most of my time last week reminiscing... call it a long walk down memory lane. Supposed to be a pretty one, but the feeling was kinda dreadful. For months I’ve been trying to put up a face to everyone, including myself… a façade convincing them that I’m perfectly fine, that I’ve gotten over it, and that I’m absolutely H A P P Y. When truth is... I'm not and I haven't entirely moved on. (Barely even) Though I might have repeatedly said that I’ve already let go, and though I might have shrugged the idea of “him” in front of my friends and other people, still I cannot change the fact that deep inside I am still affected even by the mere mention of his name. (Who was I deceiving?!) I wanted to be strong in front of my friends. I wanted to set an example since most of them would turn to me for advice, but of course my actions showed otherwise. I was never a good pretender when it comes to my feelings. At times I’d be lost; totally blank, not wanting to do anything, not even wanting to go out with my friends. In short, I wanted to be alone and away from everyone; strangely not me that is. (I was that obvious!) bubbly lil me just turned emo emo emo. hehehe From ms. party organizer/weekend planner to drama queen. Unbelievable!! =| When asked out, they’d usually hear me say “I’m not in the mood, my heart’s not into it.” or how about that funny line which I blurted out a few times in the office. “Single but not ready to mingle” LOL I evidently needed to clear my brain out!! What was I thinking??!! hahaha But Thank God of course for friends who continuously bugged me, checked on me; people who did not just bombard me with messages and calls, but relentlessly dragged me out of my house with convoy pa!!! and though I didn’t seem appreciative that time… I tell you, it really did me good. (Thanks so much guys!!!)

Thinking over the weekend about this so called “past” I must say once again and this time FOR REAL… I’m letting go. I’ve accepted the fact that it’s over; that it ended a long time ago… and YES I have to stop holding on to things. (I really have to stress out on that!! hehe) Aside from giving me a lot of stress and doing me no good at all, this whole thing will only make me miss out on all the good or even better opportunities to come… and I don’t want that to happen. I absolutely want to be blessed more. ;) I had a lot of good memories with him. I do not have to hate just to forget. I have nothing against him and I don’t want to look for things to be mad about… I don’t want to be bitter. I have no reason to be one. I cannot avoid him forever; we both shouldn’t and just can’t. We were friends before this and we’ve been through a lot of things… and so in one of our talks we both wished happiness for each other and agreed not to be strangers to each other. (It was a good closure) We both didn’t want everything to be put into waste. Of course there’s no denying that we still both care for each other but that’s a diff. story. :) Whatever happened, it’s all in the past… and I need to stop blinding myself from it. The girl needs to move on. ;) Yes, I was terribly broken and lost... and it is inevitable that we all will be at some point in our lives but nonetheless it shouldn’t stop us from moving on. Sulking doesn’t do any good. I went through a lot of things and I learned a lot from it. Someone once told me… What doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger. Indeed it did. This is just one of them; this was something I had to go through to grow. ;) The “fall” doesn’t matter… it’s how you pick yourself up with dignity and grace that does. And besides I have a lot of things to be thankful about, that includes being blessed with a great family and a good set of friends. So, what’s there to be sorry for?! What's there to be sad and lonely about?! :) Plus of course I have something to look forward to, something to be reminded of… Before God gives his BEST, the devil brings out his "good." Now who isn't looking forward to have that?! ;D

Thoughts to live by

2007-07-20T01:07:00.000-07:00

THOUGHTS TO LIVE BY

Should you find it hard to get to sleep tonight;
Just remember the homeless family who has no bed to lie in.

Should you find yourself stuck in traffic; don't despair.
There are people in this world for whom driving is an
unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who
has been out of work for the last three months.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think
of the person who has never known what it's like to
love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend;
Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve
hours a day, seven days a week, for $15.00 to feed
her family.

Should your car break down, leaving You miles away
from assistance, Think of the paraplegic who would
love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror;
Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes
she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering;
what is life all about, what is my purpose?
Be thankful, there are those who didn't live long
enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other
people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or
insecurities; Remember, things could be worse.
You could be them!!!

-unknown